DEEPER VICTORY: Tom Ostler
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“Somewhere along the way, I had surrounded myself with a barrier to keep people at a distance, where they couldn't see the secrets I carried around inside of me. I felt alone, isolated, hidden behind my own wall of shame. But during the Shadow Weekend, I was able to bring some of my secrets out into the light. I began to realize that all the things I’m thinking and feeling have a truth and honesty within them and because they do, they are not things I need to be ashamed of.
“Most of all, I learned that I was not alone. I discovered that in my thought processes and my emotional self I am more similar to other men than I ever imagined. I was part of a brotherhood where I could share my secrets and shed light on my isolated places and still be accepted for who I am. For the first time in my life, I was part of a community where I really belonged, one where I no longer felt like an outsider trying to hide my shame from others.
“It is now three years later and I think I still benefit from that weekend every day of my life. I’m more able to embrace those parts of my personality that I wanted to keep private. And I understand that every dark aspect of myself also has a light side that gives me true worth.”
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